Dexter's Deepest Desires
by LadyPaige
Summary: A collection of Dexter stories whereby Dexter shares a romantic relationship with Isaak Sirko. The Name and Summary of this story have been changed, the explanation is in the story.
1. Picnic on Miami's Sands

**Sorry for the change of name. "Picnic on Miami's Sands" is part of the Dexter's Deepest Desires series: a series of small stories (all linked unless I say other wise). If you click on my username you will find "The Bar" and "Something Different", they are also part of the series. I changed the name and I will be putting the rest of the stories (I have yet to write) on this story because for some reason I can't add new stories.**

**Also I'm having trouble with coming up with new ideas to write, if you have anything you want me to write about this pairing please just say.**

**Picnic on Miami's Sands**

**Isaak cooks for the kids.**

* * *

I wiggled my toes in the sand, watching as my son built a sand castle with Jamie; complete with limpet shells and dark green seaweed decor. I turned to see Cody setting up the blanket for the picnic, while Astor was helping Isaak with the Tupperware boxes full of food; simple hand food really and a couple boxes full of freshly cut vegetables for the burgers, they also brought with them a paper bag full of juicy, ripe fruit and a variety of uncooked meat just waiting to meet that grill. The pair planned on placing the food down once Cody had found a spot that apparently had to be just right in the boy's eyes, he kept placing it then moving it further up the beach.

"What if the waves come up and get us wet?" Cody had asked.

"It's going down." I had said "It won't come up to us until hours after we're gone."

Once the picnic was set up, Isaak opened up the instant barbeque, fishing out a cheap lighter from his pocket, flicking the wheel and setting a bit of the ripped off cardboard packaging alight, dropping it between the grill bars and onto the coals.

Isaak was barefoot, feet sinking into the sand, he wore a pair of loaned beige shorts and his own white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up. His hair was still styled up, revealing the cut of on his head that had almost completely healed, it would not scar, the wound on his arm however would. He looked oddly natural dressed down, the same way he looked natural as he held Harrison or entertain him with his toys, steel eyes wide and expressive like every word, even almost words were works of beautiful music.

Like he was for me, I was the only one who truly knew him. He was amazing at appearing human, mostly because he was. Many may have not believed me but it was true, Isaak had the mind of a killer, he could lead killers but his heart was that of a human. He could feel. His guilt may have been dampened and he had learned to look out for himself, meaning he could kill with ease but still felt. Not to say that he did not have a dark passenger, that was very much there, his ability to enjoy killing was there but much like Lumen when he did not need to kill, whether it be for safety or revenge, he simply did not. He was more like Doakes actually, he was trained as a killer, not born in blood or developed though life experiences. Yet he understood me, accepted me. Why? How could he when no one would have been able to before? Even Harry, who like Deb wanted to keep me alive but seeing me for who I really was would destroy them.

Isaak held the lighter out to Astor, her eyes widen and she quickly took the lighter back.

"Hey!" she squealed, taking the lighter back "When did you get this?"

"Ninja." Cody gasped, grinning widely.

"It felt out of your pocket on the ride over." Isaak explained "Thank you by the way." Always a gentlemen "And what's a ninja?" he asked, turning to Cody.

"A guy who wares all black and has really cool weapons." Cody said, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Astor shook her head and rolled her eyes at her brother's childishness.

Isaak cocked a thin eyebrow "Like Batman?" he asked.

Cody laughed, Astor held her hand over her mouth to hold back her giggles, even I cracked a smile.

Jamie looked up from the sand castle, a smile on her face "As fun as this picnic seems to be so far," she said with a laugh "I have to get going." She turned to Dexter "Sorry."

I gave a reassuring smile "It is your night off."

She gave Harrison a hug, holding his close to her in her long thin arms "I'll miss you little guy." she looked back to me as she stood "Your secret is save." she said, patting my shoulder "Bye guys." she said, waving at Astor and Cody, before turning to Isaak "Nice meeting you."

And like the gentleman he was he said "The pleasure was all mine."

I smirked, half expecting him to stand up, straight like his spine was a metal pole and bow in respect.

Jamie left, leaving behind a chorus of byes and waves.

"What secret?" Astor asked.

I had told Jamie that Isaak was my friend, who was staying with me for awhile, that he cooked for Harrison and I, and not to tell her brother or any one else about the Ukrainian. Pretty much all at once and she quickly came to conclusion that we were dating and I guessed in many ways we were, more kissing friends who helped each other kill and hide bodies but I could not really tell her that, so I let her believe what she wanted t believe. It did stop her from telling anyone but she had told me, well more like ordered me to tell the kids, that if it was serious which it certainly appeared to be seeing as he was living with me, more for convenience but still if it was "serious" then the kids had a right to know. Dropping me in it however was a little rude.

"Deborah does not know I'm here." Isaak explained, looking at me with a little confusion but thankfully he still handled the situation "We don't get on that well and we did not really want to get into any arguments while I'm here. I'd rather spend more time with Dexter and getting to know all of you."

"Why don't you like each other?" Cody asked.

"We never really did. Then we had a little misunderstanding and we lost any remote trace of a bound we had. Anyway enough of that." he glanced down at the barbeque that was just starting to really heat up "What would you like first? We have burgers, hot dogs, bacon." he listed the items, counting them off on his fingers.

"Burger!" Cody said, grinning wildly.

"Bacon." Astor said "Please." she added.

"Hung over food?" I asked Astor. I cocked a brow "Drunk or high?"

"Shut up!" her face redden ever so slightly.

Isaak crawled over and sat next to Harrison "I'm Isaak." he said "The one cooking for these crazy people."

Harrison looked up from his castle, blue eyes full of interest.

"Is there anything you would like to eat?" Isaak tilted his head, warm eyes and a gentle smile on his face.

Harrison continued to stare. Although three, he was still a very quite and shy child.

"How about I show you and you point?" Isaak suggested.

Harrison nodded, seeming pleased by the idea.

I watched as Isaak picked Harrison up and went to show him what the food options were, the four year old wrapped his little arms tightly around Isaak's neck, the man did not seem to mind. Isaak fit in well in my little life, both the domestic and criminal side of things and I hoped that he would stay that way. I smiled as Isaak, Astor and Cody worked together, showing Harrison all his options.


	2. The Emptiness

**The Emptiness That Comes With Being Alone**

**Part one of two**

**Isaak leaves for a few days to get his affairs in order and while he is away the urges of the Dark Passenger come back with a vengeance.**

* * *

To say I was pissed off would be a major understatement. On the outside I was calm as could be, minus a slight downwards twitch of my smile. My mask was slipping, I need to kill.

I knew my body well; the headaches, quick temper and stress was my dark passenger's way of saying "I'm waiting but not for much longer." Had the other part of me been able to text I imagine it would have said that, along with a little frowney face, maybe even with one of those 'Greater than' maths symbols as angry eyebrows.

I needed to kill. I had left it far too long, forty-five days too long. The longest I had gone without killing anything (animal or human) since I was eighteen, was after Brian, when Doakes followed me non-stop and when I did get the chance to kill I still could not.

This however was five days longer than that and what was worse was that the unbearable need and anger had occurred within hours. Four days ago it had started, work took up my time to stalk which would not have been much use anyway because I had no one to go after. Not that there was no one likely worth being strapped to my table but likely was not good enough. I had to find the cases that could be linked, find the person, find the evidence, find the kill room, buy things for the kill room; I'm lacking in plastic sheeting, near out of duct tape and there was just no time for all of this. I always keep an eye on my supplies, I always keep an eye out for possible victims, I never don't look forward to my next kill, so what had kept me distracted for all this time minus four days ago? Would you believe Isaak Sirko?

We spent time on the boat, we spent time with Astor, Cody and Harrison; out on the boat, at the beach, even at a zoo. We went out for meals and drinks together and Isaak took me to an outside gun range to prove I could actually shoot. Then there was the time we spend with Harrison and the times we stayed in to watch films. Bit by bit I had forgotten. I looked up possible killers now and again, trading ideas with Isaak but nothing ever came about. I still looked at my slides when I happened to think of them, and run my index finger down the slides oh so gently, pleased to hear the glass pieces lightly taping against the others. There was a want, a want for the thrill but I barely thought about it. I felt no need until Isaak was gone.

"But you have to admit she has a sweet rack." Vince said "God, I would kill to do her."

'Oh God, can I kill for him?' I thought to myself, not that I believed in a God but if there is one please, please, please make a serial killer fall into my sights and give me the time to kill them, Oh and if you could pop to the hardware store too that would be great.

"Hey Dex, who do you think would give the best head?"

'I'm never going to get out of here.' I need to kill but I don't think I even had the control left to do that. I can't take this.

"The blond from the coffee place down by where Peterson nearly got hit in the face with a brick after that gang showed up. Or the red-head that... Dexter?" Vince asked, sounding worried "What's up with your leg? Are you okay?"

I need relief.

"Dexter?"

"What?!" I snapped, my words sounding harsh and cold "What?!"

Silence.

Vince looked stunned but I could not really give a flying fuck at the moment. I was about to demand what was so damn important or if it was just in his nature, like the rest of humanity to get in my damn way all the fucking time, when I heard it.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The thumps were somewhat light and quite quick. I looked down to see my right leg bouncing it's self off the ground, like that of a recovering addict. I placed both my hands onto the leg and pushed it down, it went down but I could feel the muscles wanting to move. All these feelings, basic as they maybe were attacking me all at once but the emptiness was worse than ever before. What's wrong with me?

* * *

"Guys I need your help." Vince said walking into the small kitchen (which was only really used for coffee) where Quinn stood, leaning against the counter, Angel followed behind Vince having been called over by him.

"With what exactly?" Quinn asked un-amused, but the look of fear on Vince's face make him blink.

"Dexter just snapped at me, a decibel or two off a scream." Said Vince.

"What did you do?" Angel asked, moving to stand next to Quinn.

Vince help up his hands in defence "I asked if he was okay. His leg was jumping about like he was about to have a panic attack."

"Is he on someth-" Quinn paused when he saw the elevator doors close behind a fleeing Dexter "He just left."

"What?" Angle asked, looking over to the elevator.

"See." Vince said, turning back from where he had also been looking at the elevator "That's not like Dexter."

"Jamie did say that Dexter did seem a little stressed but this..." he walked over to his desk "I'm going to give Jamie a call, see if she can shine some light on this."

* * *

I sat in my living room, swinging back my beer, still pissed of and empty.

Jamie for some reason had told me I could not leave yet, not that it mattered, I was too pissed off to kill. Hello rock bottom, I'm Dexter Morgan.

"Where are you going?" I asked when she started to pack a bag for Harrison.

"Harrison is going to stay with Angle and I for the night." she says "I got hold of a crib for the night, so don't worry." she smiled "Just enjoy your night."

I raised a brow "What?"

"I know you've been unhappy lately so I invited a friend over."

"Who?" I asked.

"You'll see." she said.

Nothing else was said for a long time until Jamie's phone buzzed on the kitchen table, she picked it up and smiled. "Okay," she said "I'm off." she picked up Harrison's bag full of toys and other bits, pulling the strap over her head and lay in on her shoulder. She then when to Harrison's room and picked him up too.

"Say night daddy."

"Night daddy." Harrison said, his words were not very loud but he would in time gain courage in time.

I smiled "Night Harrison."

* * *

I sat on the sofa for no longer then 34 seconds when I heard a knock on the door. That must have been the person Jamie had invited, due to their speedy arrival after Jamie left it was safe to say that he or she must have texted her. Would I have really left pretty much as soon as she had? Yes, that was pretty likely. She knew me well.

I got up, placing my beer on the table and made my way the window to see who it was before I let them in, an old habit. I peaked between the plastic binds to see... Isaak?

My heart thumped wildly in my chest and I quickly moved to the door, I grabbed the handle and thankfully remembered that the chain lock was still on. Now that would have been embarrising. I moved the chain away and opened the door.

"Hello Dexter." Isaak said, he smiled but his eyes looked full of worry.

I reached out and held the back of his head. I missed his short hair, his skin, his eyes. I took everything in for about five seconds before I pulled his head forward and slammed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him in closer and after a lick at his lips he let me inside.

Isaak allowed himself to me dragged into my apartment but the bang of the door closing behind him changed him. He pushed me against the wall and moved down to kiss my neck, when he got to the area above my jugular he bit down, hard.

The blood started to rush down to my genitals. It felt oh so good. It was amazing just being able to feel again.


End file.
